An 8-year-old Jacqueline Fisher stared at the monkey bars above her head, gathering the courage to jump and grab one. She was taking too long – the other children pushed her aside and took the leap in front of her. A classmate from Taft Elementary shouted back a condescending, “Come on! It’s easy!” Fisher jumped and grabbed the first rung with both hands, swung to the second to grab with her left, and promptly fell as her grip slipped from the bar. Her feet slammed into the rocks below her for the third time. She kept trying, but couldn’t get past the first couple rungs. The other kids ran past her to do the bars again and again, not understanding. This was the first time she was confronted with her difference, but it wouldn’t be the last.
Fisher was born with symbrachydactyly. The biological anomaly occurred when one of her hands formed outside of the amniotic sac within her mother’s womb. Babies born with symbrachydactyly may have shortened or missing bones, or webbed or missing phalanges. The anomaly typically affects only one limb – in this case, it was Fisher’s left. She possesses all five digits, but each digit ends without all of its bones in nubbins, affecting the dexterity and fine motor skills of her left hand.
“It’s never been a disability,” Fisher said. “Sometimes I’ll joke about it – like in P.E. I’d say, ‘Sorry, can’t run this mile, I don’t have fingers.’”
The 21-year-old utilizes a generous sense of humor and sharp wit when approaching conversations about her hand. She facetiously calls her hand her “stump hand”. She once convinced a freshman from her hometown of Humboldt, Iowa, that she and her boyfriend, Malcolm, had cut off her fingers in wood shop, she said. Fisher has been dating Malcolm for about 8 years, and she said he’s never seen her differently or made comments about her hand. Fisher will make jokes about her hand freely to those close to her, including her boyfriend. However, an issue arises when those who aren’t close with her attempt to make jokes.
Fisher formerly served as a peer mentor for the Hixon Scholarship Program at Iowa State University (ISU), where she studies finance and economics. Over the summer, a scholar made comments about her hand during a team building activity. They were playing laser tag, and the student said she was going to get an advantage because Fisher didn’t have fingers anymore, Fisher said. A similar situation occurred in high school where Fisher was a cheerleader, when a teammate said she should use her hand to make a pawprint on the posters for the Humboldt Wildcats. In response to comments like these, Fisher either makes a comically passive aggressive retort, or ignores the comment entirely.
“Not that not having fingers isn’t shitty, but if you’re in that situation, why make it worse by being bitter about it?” Fisher said. “You might as well embrace what you have and have fun with it.”
Today, as a form of distraction and catharsis from any stress or disappointment she feels, Fisher competes in judo at ISU. She also competes to spend time with her boyfriend, who encouraged her to join. Malcolm has been involved in martial arts his whole life, and pestered her to join, she said. After a tough first practice she attended to appease him, she persevered and committed to the sport. She quickly found that throwing someone to the ground can release a lot of tension.
Judo is a modern martial art and combat sport, which originated in Japan in the 19th century. It relies upon technique, timing, and leverage rather than brute force. Fisher said she has found some grips and moves to be harder, but no one has ever discouraged her because of her hand. She’s found her own techniques, and perhaps they give her an advantage.
Her teammates have been supportive, and have tried to figure out new ways for her to compete. If there’s any teasing from her teammates, it’s from those who won’t train with her because she is a woman, perhaps not because of her hand. Fisher is currently the only woman that competes for ISU’s Martial Arts Club. During training, some teammates will act like they’re “the best” if they beat her, she said. However, she added that they always push her to compete and represent the women of ISU well. The larger issue arises when she competes, and her women opponents view her as weak.
“I’ve had girls who have noticed, and then watching how they do matches with other girls versus how they do it with me – it seemed to be a lot different,” Fisher said. “Like, ‘oh, this girl doesn’t have fingers, I don’t wanna go too hard on her.’ Once we go the second round it’s usually normal after that.”
Fisher currently holds a senior brown belt – an achievement after being in martial arts for just two years. The brown belt falls under a “kyū” grading, which is considered a step below a black belt, which goes by “dan” grading. Dan is a separate ranking system from kyū, denoting an elevated level of competence in the martial art. Both grading scales are used in many martial arts, including Japanese and Korean martial arts.
“Obviously, having both hands would make judo a lot easier, but I still competed at nationals,” Fisher said. “It’s not hindering me that much.”
The champion was ranked third at nationals (held at ISU in 2018) in collegiate women’s judo, and was invited to the World University Games in Napoli, Italy, this summer. Fisher is still deciding whether or not to go, but is hesitant because of the cost, she said. ISU’s Martial Arts Club is able to pay for the entry fee, flight, and housing, but she feels as if it’s too much to put on the club’s budget. She said she is grateful for the invitation to the competition, and is proud to be nationally ranked.
“It’s like, from never doing a combat sport to almost getting a black belt,” Fisher said. “That’s pretty good. Mhmm, mhmm.”
Philip Runia 