*Published in Vol. 4 of Fools Magazine
Clothes from another generation meet recycled bright blue eyeshadows and rosy red blushes – all in the name of embracing femininity. But femininity is synonymous with weakness, tainting this joyous experiment. As a result, many boys and men feign exaggerated masculinity so as to not disrupt our socially constructed gender role identities.
Growing up in the closet, sheltering myself was a part of daily life. After I learned, or was conditioned, to distinguish boyish behavior from girly gait, I immersed myself into the world of masculine mannerisms and self-presentation.
I became an expert at filtering my wardrobe, interests, speech, movements and line of sight, layering padlocks on my closet door. I was able to put on a performance to mask who I was underneath all of the toxically layered masculinity.
After coming out years later, my suppressed femininity was dragged out onto an open stage as its own incarnation: Regina Royale. An alter ego emerged from the soulful confidence I gained from being genuine, femininity I had never before felt comfortable expressing, and of the audacious sexuality that I had not previously explored.
Leading up to my decision to do drag, I was berated by an onslaught of personal attacks coming from my ego and self-conscious masculinity. What would people think? Would they see me the same way after the makeup came off? Will my personal identity remain intact? Fighting through my unfounded shame and doubt, I was aided in my ascent into the world of drag by none other than The Queen FantAsia Woods. Becoming my impromptu mother, I was sat in front of her boudoir and began that foreign, forbidden ritual of dress-up.
Shower and shave. Foundation, highlight, contour, powders, eyeshadow, lashes, lips, wig, then outfit. To The Queen FantAsia Woods, drag is not only an art, but a science. A drag queen’s experiment is to be perfected and controlled. The illusion of womanhood must be preserved at all costs. An alter ego must be separate, leaving behind all traces of doubt behind. Any little thing that will get in the way of your performance gets tucked away; literally. Having my face beat, ‘fit fitted, hair styled, and music mixed by an expert filled me with appreciation and anticipation.
The Queen FantAsia Woods, a self-made legend coming into her persona out of a history of ridicule and appreciation for the magic of drag as well as Asian-Korean cultures, asserts herself as the reigning Queen of Iowa City drag. There are various drag queens in Iowa City, but Woods is not just anyone. Magnificence emanates from her, attracting a mixture of adoring and jealous looks from the crowd and other queens. Creating her own music mixes, outstanding poetic or dance performances, and putting together a magical look in 30 minutes, Woods screams “royalty” within the court of Studio 13. Growing up taunted for being feminine, Woods was called “queen” in her youth. Reclaiming that feminine title, she is now: The Queen FantAsia Woods.
Sitting among postered inspiration and a wall of over 40 wigs in front of her, Woods painstakingly nitpicks musical transitions for future performances on her laptop. According to her, impromptu doesn’t exist. “You must know what you’re performing to, because drag is all about how you present yourself,” Woods said. “The presentation in performance is the most important thing.”
But drag is no game.
With it comes sacrifice. To jump start a drag career, Woods shelled out over $1,000 on wigs, shoes, and outfits. That’s not counting makeup, an entirely different money monster. Money aside, time and comfort are surrendered. “You must have a conversation with your body about what you will and won’t accept, and how far you are willing to push yourself to perform,” Woods said. “Comfort is also sacrificed emotionally; drag is a cutthroat experience.”
Coming off the stage to hear relentless critiques from audience members saying she was ugly or that her hair was bad are just a few examples of how harsh the world of drag is for performers. “I think we forget that we’re also people, and we have emotions,” Woods said.
Upstairs in a sanctuary of Studio 13, a vanity-lined dressing room houses several drag queens as they prepare for and reflect on their performances. Woods’ thick skin provides her with a shield from the relentless shade thrown from other queens. There is a sense of comradery embracing this facet of queerness, however there is also competition. As a black queen, Woods faces isolation and blazes a trail in her own race to become a queen. Combatting the racism in the queer community is no easy task, but Woods is doing it with regal poise. Sticking to her own brand, she has demands respect for her craft and her people, inspiring many around her – including myself, her drag debutante.
A pseudo mother-daughter relationship ensues, between a drag debutante and a queen, providing a nurturing foundation for a miraculous transformation in healing, confidence, and personhood.
Seated on a stool before my mock-mother, a nostalgic presence is palpable. In place of a boar-bristle brush tugging at my curls, there is an eyeliner pencil scraping my water line (although still producing tears). Giving my drag mother total control, my face is painted to perfection, inducting me into a secret society of glamour. Slowly converting my being, the line between man and queen grows progressively thinner. Then, the wig comes on, and I become She. As a man, identity is limited; however, as She, identity is limitless.
With wig attached, face beat, and a fully coordinated, acrobatic performance, King Robinson, 25, becomes The Queen FantAsia Woods. After one step onto the runway, the crowd is already screaming. Woods’ beautiful blackness glows in the limelight, illuminating the path for queens of color to follow in her footsteps with their own sickening light.
Dragging me onto the Studio stage, Woods touched the queen within me, permanently transforming my walled being into a boundless entity.
Philip Runia 